Sunday 20 May 2012

Gone are the days when you would go to a ball, have a dance and then marry your Mr Darcy.



I am hugely dependant on technology. I feel victimised when I'm in a wifi/3G/broadband free zone, insulted if my Orange Wednesday doesn't come through on time, and frustrated when I can't access my emails on a train. In short, technology isn't part of my life, it IS my life.


I don't know how I spiralled so out of control, I vaguely remember a time when I didn't check my Facebook everyday, but its fair to assume those days are long gone.


Technology is hugely helpful and theres no way I'd ever turn my back on it, but sometimes, when you have time in between Facebook stalking, tweeting or instagraming, you realise theres a whole lot of baggage that comes with it.


Because we are always made available in some way or another, I personally, feel this overwhelming pressure to be constantly socialising. You are made acutely aware of 'all the fun' that your 'friends' on Facebook are having, and are therefore encouraged to scrutinise the status of your own life and relationships.  


You are also encouraged to question why someone is or isn't contacting you. This comes with particular reference to boys.


 If he text you first, why hasn't he texted you back or why has it taken him so long to reply? Will he even EVER reply? (This seems to be the one question I am always coming to my friends with).


And Even when someone DOES make contact with you, such as said boy, there seems to come with it, a whole new load of problems and questions..."Ooh he likes this photo of me! Doe's he really like it?", "He text me but he didn't ask a question/leave any kisses?!"... More then often enough you end up getting excited or hurt over something which has been blown way out of proportion.


I have spent a lot of my time obsessing over technology and the problems that come with it, and I know, despite how I have hurt myself in the past, I will spend many more hours equally obsessed. 


However, I have come to realise that there something fundamental about socialising via this means which should never be overlooked in any given, technology-related situation (so any situation).


People hide behind technology and this should be taken into account within our social-network careers. Think about it on a very basic level...


Remember yourself at thirteen?


Okay, now remember MSN.


Enough said? I most certainly am cringing into my keyboard right now.


As the Google Chrome ad says, 'The internet is what you make it'. And most people use it, myself included, to create a fantastic altar-ego. On Facebook, someone may have thousands of friends, but in reality, they probably only have a couple they can really count on. A girl may look stunning online, but the truth is she carefully selects which photos make the cut to go on her timeline and carefully edits the ones which do. 


Via text, if you are trying to impress someone, whether you are a boy or a girl, you are going to think about what you write. The texting process buys you time, which is why people won't reply straight away. You can 'deal with it later', when you have 'more time to think about a response'. I've been found guilty of doing this and the truth be told I do it because I'm shy, not because I'm not interested. 


On the whole technology and the social etiquette that comes with it are stressful and confusing. There aren't any written rules, there are no basic manners you are taught to apply to texting or socialising via Facebook. 


Theres just hear-say and unwritten tradition to go on.


Technology makes us acutely aware of this time passing which can cause us to stress about the little things, that in the olden days (aka when our parents were young) would have been totally overlooked.


Gone are the days when you would go to a ball, have a dance and then marry your Mr Darcy.


At the end of the day we must remember, that while technology has made everything instant, you cant rush a relationship. Love is one of the few worthwhile things in life that takes time to happen, but is worth the wait. 




x



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