Dignity is a refined art

Dignity has to be the hardest thing to keep when someone really lets you down.

To keep your mouth shut, to not show how upset they have really made you, when all you want to do is burst into tears and hit them square in the face (or balls, respectively, considering your level of stress...) is bloody hard.

Dignity is a refined art and is never put to the test more then under these circumstances.

You feel as though, while you are facing inner-turmoil, the person inflicting it upon you, walks away more or less scot-free.

However, I am a firm believer in the high road, and would never want to lower myself to the level of some of the dick heads I have had to put up with. By all means, its is important to let them know how they have upset you, but it is equally important to do this in a calm, and relatively emotionally detached way.

Retrospect is a pretty powerful thing, and if you handle a situation in a dignified manner, don't think for a minute that the pain-inflictor, won't one day look back, see the way they treated you, and feel guilt. From your dignity, it will be all the more clear, that you didn't deserve the treatment you were given, that you really were the best thing they never had.

Playing 'an eye for an eye' will have the reverse effect, no matter how in the wrong, the arse hole was originally, if you break down in front of them, they are going to see you as insecure and immature.

For the TOWIE fans amongst you, take a look at Gemma and the way things ended with Charlie. Gemma was in the wrong, texting another guy behind Charlie's back. Charlie, in a very dignified way, called off their relationship, and said he wasn't happy with the texts Gemma had been sending, but was prepared to stay friends. He can truly say, he left that relationship with dignity. He handled his feelings well, and tried to deal with them in a discreet way in front of Gemma. Gemma however, got massively defensive and told him to 'fuck off' and that they couldn't be friends. By acting this way, the audience became immediately aware that Gemma feels stupid that she's betrayed her boyfriend, and even more upset that he actually doesn't seem that bothered. Theres no drama on his part. The scene concludes with Charlie leaving, and Gemma left on her own feeling a bit stupid.

This probably isn't the best example, firstly Gemma isn't a guy, she's a girl and secondly, in my opinion, she's a massive idiot and as a consequence, a boy won't always be so transparent with their emotion. Despite all this, it does, however, exemplify how you will come off the better person if you just hold back in these situations, no matter how hurt you are.

 It really is a case of 'less is more' as in - the less you say, the more there is left for the guy to think about.

Girls have a tendency to over think things, and boys a tendency to not think at all. Sometimes therefore, it really is best to say something, which instead of stating emotion, suggests it; to provoke thought in a guy's head, which may just give them a fraction of the hell you've been going through.

These tactics are subtle and you may never even see the results, but trust me when I say they are there. Maybe his inability to make eye contact or his sudden laddish bravado with the guys in front of you, are subtle signs he's either ashamed or hiding his true feelings. Don't see this as him being rude, see it as him being weak and a coward, and don't play to him, leave him to it. The signs can sometimes be minuscule, but they're there all the same.

Trust your instinct. 

At the end of the day, when it comes to broken relationships, I'd rather look back with the peace of mind that I never did anything wrong, and that that dick head who messed me around lost out on something good. A dignified and strong girl, who will pick herself up and brush herself off post-dickhead, with dignity still firmly intact.

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